Those Were the DAYS !

Imagine…it’s Friday…the only day you can rest during…you wake up…you wash up…do the usual morning stuff..then you start enjoying doing…NOTHING…it’s such a satisfying thing to do nothing on a friday morning…you rest your head…and you start playing your own music theme in your head…and it weirdly sounds catchy , you lay your back…your crack your knuckles and you feel very peaceful…then suddenly…something shatters the sweet silence…
” 3ee…come here, i need you to do something for me ! ” … Apparently…3eE’s Mother had some other plans in mind…i guess she was thinking in her mind something like this : ” oh…3eE looks so peaceful, i think i should put an end to that =D ” … she actually had decided that i need to lose some weight … and apparently some Height =\ by going up the attic and do some cleaning … the conversation went something like this :
3eE’s Mother : ” morning dear ” with a big smile !
3eE : ” Morning Mom ! ” with a suspicious smile…
3eE’s Mother : ” honey…i need you to do me this little little thing “
3eE : ” ummmm…sure…what ? “
3eE’s Mother : ” you do remember that we have an attic , right ? “
3eE : ” Aha…”
3eE’s Mother : ” yeah…it needs some cleaning…so you go up there and do your thing ! “
3eE : ” O____o !!! uhhhh…mom…it’s been ages since the last time any1 went there >.>” “
3eE’s Mother : ” more reason to clean it up…throw away unnecessary crap to make room for more crap “
3eE : ” but mom…i can’t possibly fit in there any more !! “
- you see…the attic is kinda like less than 1 m in height…and am like almost 190 cm tall… you do the math -
3eE’s Mother : ” don’t worry…it’s all in your mind…you just go up and everything will go fine “
3eE : ” MOM !!! “

have you ever seen a losing discussion?? that was one of those…and apparently i had to go up there in the end…and there i went…
climbing the ladder , i was more certain i can’t possibly fit in there…it’s like trying drive a plane into a garage =\ so…i decided to go into the Human Box Mode…yeah it’s one of my many many special powers =D going through that mode i believe i lost a couple of cms , coz nothing comes for free right ? entering the old dusty place…breathing some toxins of an unknown source which i actually didn’t want to know what was it … sailing my way through the seas of Dust and the fields of some unknown objects , facing some creatures i didn’t even know existed…befriending a cockroach named 3awa6′ i finally got to the piles of unused neglected stuff…i started grabbing and moving these things,which seemed to never end, still struggling to survive…when i finally saw some stuff that made me forget all of the problems i had there…stuff like these :

remember this ?

that felt so nostalgic…i swear to god my eyes almost glittered hehehe…oh sweet childhood memories…i had so much fun going through these things…mom started to regret letting me in there…she unleashed the beast ! i started digging there…searching and searching , getting back old memories that were hidden in that creepy smelly old place…some really precious memories…going through them…i felt sad for the kids these days…i think you’ll relate to this if you were born in the 80s or the early 90s…i can almost swear the sky was more blue…the trees were more green…Eid was more fun and people were much nicer…i remembered playing with those toys and stuff in the ” 7ara ” right outside our house, i remembered every single activity we did with such things =)
people say that’s because i got older and things are never the same for me…but i believe otherwise…life has changed…people have changed according to that…children are not as innocent as they used to be…people are much cautious and skeptical of other people than before…i truly believe that ” Our Fun ” is totally different than ” Their Fun ” … anyway…i got all these stuff out and started taking pictures of them as u saw above…they brought me joy that lasted for the whole day…i kept these things somewhere else…so i will always have the connection to the days…the good old days, i wish i can just re-live one of those days…
in the end…i cleaned up everything…put some other things up there…so i can return to those new things after a couple of years and start ranting again on how THESE days are better than the days to come after a couple of years 

A Blast from the Past …psycho maniac edition !

(note : in this post i am not trying to laugh about this girl or even make the situation funny as we usually do in our writings , i tried to be as sincere as possible because i want people to be aware of her kind and know what she is capable of , if u want something funny then wait for our next post , i guarantee its gonna be sardonically  hilarious !!)

Today ..About 7 a.m my cellphone rang..and the only thing i was thinking about -while i was trying so hard to open up my eyes and reach for the phone – is: ” this better Be good , who the hell wants to talk to me now ?”..of course and for the shock of the century it was a classmate that i haven’t spoken to ..in a long..LONG..time !..for the first 5 seconds i was so in disbelief that i kept reading the name over and over again..( since i can’t actually say her name i am gonna call her “Bla Bla” )…

” BLA BLA ??!  ..oh god not again”…i pressed “silence”  & held the phone in anticipation waiting for her to finally finish ..and after a great while she did..i threw the cellphone away and started frantically thinking of what she is going to do next..and before i realized it ..i heard the house’s phone ringing and i knew it was her ..i jumped out of my bed and ran as fast as i can to talk to my father before he answers..and thank GOD i caught him before he did , i screamed as hard as i can ” DAD  WAIT ..DON’T ANSWER!!” and i asked him to tell her that i was not there , that i was gone and probably busy throughout the week ..and so he did.

By that my nightmare was temporarily over..you See “Bla Bla” is someone every one of u has met , she is the weird awkward girl that nobody talks to , usually with a disastrous hair style and a more awful hairdo that she insists on doing every single day..she has no friends , no sound , no expression ..just by walking near her u can feel darkness!..this girl also had a weird collection of bracelets that she liked to wear & the goofiest bag ever ..i felt sorry for her , for the fact that people laughed at and mocked her ..and i felt even worse cause i thought of the same stuff they said to her face and sometimes when they used to make jokes about her behind her back they would be so funny that i would laugh !  ..

One Day at An English class , i said a joke and we started laughing and i saw her looking at me and laughing as well and i thought to myself ” poor thing , i am gonna talk to her in the break” ..and so..Most unfortunately i did ..she seemed nice..awkward..but nice..she said a lot of  things that didn’t make any sense ..but we all do don’t we ? …the break finished and we went back to class , and i went straight to the board and started writing some lyrics like i always do , she entered and said to me : ” u like “X” ?  i like them too !”  ..i smiled and said : “yea i do” ..i thought that was the end of it..like we would have small talks occasionally ..smile to each other when we pass by each other in the hallway and i would feel like i am not one of them..u know ” the mean girls that have to joke about everyone and everything” !

By the next day , i realized things were far from over ..as she came to me holding a CD and said : ” i made this CD for you “..MADE A CD FOR ME and we have only talked ONCE ..ONCE ! i took it while looking at my best friend and did this thing that u can only do with your best friend and its talking to them with your eyes what i said was : “what the hell?!?!?!”  and my friend answered back with her eyes :”i have no idea!! don’t you look at me u just had to go and talk to her !!”..i cracked a smile and said “thanks..what’s in it ?” ..she said happily:” some songs i thought u would like , i think we have the same taste” so i thanked her again promising i will hear them and respond to her about it ..and so i did ..and things went down hell from there !

As days progressed she added me on her messenger , on Hi5 , on Facebook , on anything she could find ..she talked to me everyday on the messenger and usually the talk was short & full of awkward silence :

*Bla Bla : hi

*Dee : Hey

* Bla Bla : how are you doing ?

* Dee : I am good hun and u ?

* Bla Bla : good.

and that would be it ..and after like 2-3 hours she would just say  ” i gtg bye !” ..and i would say “Bye”..of course she still brought me gifts and presents , from books , to cds , to bracelets ..to things she wrote and wanted to share with me..there were so many of them i didn’t find time for them anymore so i would lie and say that i saw them or read them or whatever ..but it didn’t stop there ..she started acting like my best friend and treating my best friend like she was the 3rd wheel , she’d say stuff  like “can i talk to Dee in private ?” and then talk to me the whole break about meaningless stuff and when i would say to her that i would have to get back to my friends she would start tearing up and saying stuff about how bad her family is to her compelling me to stay and continue listening ..i knew she needed a friend..i knew she had issues ..but i also knew that she’s more than i can handle !

After a while things got really Insane when people that i knew outside of  school started asking me about her ..saying that she added them on hi5 or Facebook or whatever saying that she is my best friend and that we are almost identical ..and they would be like : “she sounds cute..how come u never talked about her ?” ..and of course the first thing that would come to my head : “CUTE? really?!” and the first thing i would say : ” she is not my best friend , not even a close one ” ..if u think that was hard enough to explain ..imagine my shock when she started falling in love with every guy i knew , writing them weird letters and asking them to meet her some places and then coming to school and saying that they fell in love with her and can’t stop chasing her ..and all this time i would tell myself that she is sick and that its OK ..and i would ask the guys to stay the hell away from her coz she’s just not normal !

She kept on chasing me everywhere , telling me about everything..i mean EVERYTHING ..like how many times she went to the bathroom the day before ! and at the end i could not help looking awfully bored and that started annoying her i guess coz she stopped talking to me ..and ended up sending me weird messages everyday  ” Good Morning” ..”Good Afternoon” ..”Good Night”..

To cut the story short , and skip some horrific details ..final exams were knocking on the Doors ,  and since its”Tawjihi” i had to study real hard , but instead of studying i ended up freaking about another one of her foolish ideas ..because you see she decided to tell me one day before the exams that she was running  away with some one..and that she just wanted to tell me so i wouldn’t worry but that she hasn’t told anyone else..and i had to spend the next 3 days convincing her that its not OK to run away with a guy u chat with every now and then On-line ! a guy she never actually met and doesn’t really know..finally she decided not to do it ..but right then i decided to tell her that i think she needs to see a shrink ..so i went and i thought about a million ways to tell her without actually sounding mean and when i finally did tell her she said : ” i already go , they think i am crazy “and she started laughing..the Crazy cartoonish laugh ! so i asked her to stop lying to people ..i told her that she knows that she is not my best friend and that a lot of the things she tells people are not correct and that it is really hurting and annoying me but she actually didn’t care  so  i finally decided it was time to cut things off !

I took advantage of the fact that school was over and i deleted her from my different accounts , and i stopped answering her calls and messages , whenever i would see her i would run the other way ..she started gathering information about me from people that i knew , like where i am gonna be and what i am gonna do and so i had to ask people not to give her any sort of information about me ..she’d call in the middle of the night ..and then like every other hour and she would drive me crazy but i didn’t answer and i didn’t submit..i guess i was so scared of her that i wasn’t even gonna try to act civil to her..and finally she Stopped !

since she stopped ..she called me on few occasions and i answered twice of them because i didn’t know her number !.. and she would actually start talking to me as if we meet everyday ..as if nothing has happened..as if we are best of friends ! and now..today..again..here she is ..calling me..expecting that i should answer and listen to her talk about what she had for lunch ! i am not sure if what i did is right , i am not sure if the girl is insane or she has made it her mission to make me one ! all i know is that after all these years she still freaks me out , i fear her ..and i know that she is capable of doing everything !..should we not talk to the weird silent deviant-looking girls ? should we treat them as the outcasts they present themselves to be ? is every single one of them a “Bla Bla” waiting to be unleached ? and what the hell am i supposed to do next time she calls ? next time i bump into her ? should i worry about her ? should i worry about myself ? what sort of life does a person like “Bla Bla” have ? how can someone become that way ? ..Questions i have no answers for ..

Your Sincere Sardonic ,

DeE

Ramadan These Days …

1st of all…Ramadan Kareem to all of u in this holy month … may all ur days be filled with mercy and Forgiveness…now … let’s get to the part where i talk

Ramadan…iguess Ramadan is not as it used to be…in fact am sure of that…on many levels…people have actually forgot what’s this month is about…they don’t get what’s really the meaning of fasting…they don’t even have that spirit that u should be having throughtout this month…

Ramadan used to be fun…rewarding…used to carry a lot of family times within it…But now…let’s just look at the whole atmosphere of the month…people actually split the day in two halves…the half where u fast ( AKA Day Time ) and the half where u do everything that u were not allowed to do during the other half…now let’s talk about the 1st half :

The Key word for this half is ” Cranky ” … for some reason…people are convinced that they HAVE to be mad, cranky , annoying and un-negotiable during this half !! i mean yeah u can’t eat or drink or smoke for some hours…but god!! u r this old and u still complain that much about eating and drinking ?! what are u ? 5 years old ?! and the point that they don’t get…u r not supposed to complain…bl 3arabi ma t7amel el nas o el denia jmeeleh ennak sayem !! u fast for urself and for god…so u do not need to be this mad about it !! fasting lost it’s purpose once u yelled at some other guy and almost killed him and then all wisely u said : ” BS law enni mo sayem !! ” or a couple of bad words followed by : ” allahoma eni sa2em !! ” … people have really lost the meaning of fasting…here are some scenes that u see in ramadan during the day …

1. You are walking peacfully in the street…wind playing through your hair…butterflies flying around (( yeah it’s too much lol )) then suddenly a very fast Object passes you by almost hitting you and if it did u’d spend Ramadan Floating in outer space ! Once u regain your balance and look at the Object fading quickly…getting smaller and smaller … getting so far away you realise it was a car…it’s going so fast it defies the laws of nature !! because you know…if he got a little late…he’d miss a bite or two…or that he’d miss 5 minutes of his fav. show…Grow Up People…

2. You are working a little late…you don’t have a car…so u have to stop a taxi…HUH! good luck in that…u have better chances getting food fall from the sky than stopping a taxi at such time…the problem is…they just pass you by…regardless of ur age…gender or Quantity ! hmmmm…let me think…a month when u must be thoughtful…kind and honest…it’s kinda hard…oh yeah it’s Ramadan…oh i wish that was the month we are in…oh wait…IT IS !!

3. You have to get some paper signed from some institute…you walk in…and it’s all dark and gloomy…you can almost swear you can see some gray clouds floating…you ask some employee a question…he answers so rudely and carelessly…you risk your chance and ask another question…then the earth cracks…you can see fire in his eyes…he looks at you as if you have ate his last cookie and screams : ” Mish Shayef enni Sayem?!!! Yfda7 &*(^(*&(*^(&*&)*(&^%(**&%^&(*&$^&()(%&*&^%^& !!! ” you go like and you move on…cause you know that such Creatures deserve no attention at all…and you’ll be giving them what they want if you gave them a lil much attention…

4. You are walking home…and all what you hear is people swearing…it’s weird…people actually CONVINCE themselves that it’s ok for them to swear as long as they don’t eat or drink…and this is getting very common…! And what irritates me the most that every single bad word is followed by ” allahoma eni sa2em “…News Flash … YOU ARE NOT ANYMORE!!!

5. You go out to buy some stuff for the kitchen…food supllies…you see dozens of kinds and types…and you decide and say in your mind : “  i will ask the seller…he can’t do me bad…at least not in this month !! Yeah…am brilliant … i played this the right way… i will ask him… ” you go …you ask..you buy…you eat… you throw up …

6. People seem to complain the most about not being able to smoke…and they use it as the Ultimate Excuse for all of the above…my opinion…if a child can hold himself from eating or drinking for a while…adults can hold themselves from smoking too…and am sure they can…but they don’t want to…i know it’s addiction…but some guys smoke without their family knowing of that fact…and since the family is around they do not smoke…! sometimes for days…cause they are afraid to do so…as if GOD is not something to be afraid from enough to not smoke for a couple of hours! as some friend of mine said … it’s a faith Issue…

Other than that…people actually sleep all day sometimes…well i gotta admit…it’s better than screaming all day … but … They sleep from sunrise till sunset…ain’t that a bit over?! all of that cause they can’t eat…

Now…To the 2nd half :

They Key Word for this half is ” EAT ” … Once the Magreb time has arrived…they eat and eat and EAT till they can’t move…they’ll be like canon balls all lined up against each other burping and using tooth picks! they wouldn’t move from the table for like half an hour or more due to the only fact…THEY CAN’T !! u didn’t actually fast the whole day so u can eat food in the amount of two days in one meal !!! and if that’s not enough…they have ” Gatayef ” that i don’t have anything against…unless used in the same amounts used to feed Baby Elephants !! it will be all covered In QA6ER and dripping all over…and the least each person eats is 5 or 6 pieces! come on…are u sure ur stomach can handle that ? at least for how long ?! then they sit…drink tea..and whatever drink they can drink…they sit right in front of the TV and they watch some arabic series…which btw are getting worse and worse every ramadan…don’t get me started about those…that’s a whole different story the thing is…they eat and sit…so in this case…i don’t think this sentence apply ” Soomoo tase77o ” … i don’t see it very healthy to eat till you drop and then sit till you get glued to whatever surface you are sitting on ! anyway…they stay up so late…so they can have…SO7OOR…it’s like eating from F6oor to S7oor…all that time… I wonder how they feel hungry the next day ! i really do…! they sleep…and wake up to repeat the same day over and over again for 30 days…

And my Conclusion is…People in Ramadan These Days Don’t Eat to Live…they Just Live to Eat…

Your Sincere Sardonic :
3eE

Relatives…Not So Related After All !!!

A Note Before you read : this Post Has been wrote by the both of us … coz it’s a thing we share in our lives have fun reading =)

Let me create a picture for you :
It’s Friday morning ..you wake up late , and you start thinking -while brushing your teeth- about how much u needed this day to come so u can relax and chill out and possibly do nothing but eat and watch Tv … your thoughts get interrupted by your mother screaming your name so you can go and eat breakfast and so you head to the kitchen…in a very innocent matter..not aware of the Plot being made against you and your plans ( or lack of plans ) for the day ……you say “good morning ” and sit down to eat your breakfast and
by the very first bite evil reveals itself …it usually starts by ur mother trying to slip the words without you noticing like : ” your aunt “X” called ..you remember her ? you me in “Y”’s party last year ? ” , and you answer : ” mom i don’t remember “Y” how do u expect me to remember “X” ..anyway what does she want ?” , your mother makes immediate eye contact with you (while your father lets go of the newspaper to watch what’s happening with a big smile on his face because he can totally see where this is going ) ..and she says : “she invited us to some occasion’s party and we have to go , we owe them !” ..and then it hits you , they are out to get you ..but you stay calm and act naive and say : ” go , have fun ! mom i always tell you that you should get out more ” and u quickly get off your chair and act like you have finished eating ..you say : ” thanks mom for that lovely breakfast” and start making a run for it but she jumps and follows you around the house saying : ” but dear , she asked about you , you really have to go , her daughter/Son is your age and everyone will be there..you will have a great time ” !

you try to put your foot down and say : ” no mom NO ! i will hate it there..i always do ..i donno her or her daughter and i simply don’t care ” ..you head to your room determined not to lose the battle but when you enter you somehow find your father there and he looks at you and says : ” what do u want us to tell them when they ask about ? that you don’t care ? you have nothing to do all day long , but still you’d rather stay here than come with us ?! to meet your family ?? they are your everything ! your BLOOD !” and in that moment your mind starts working on an unbelievable rate , you start thinking of every possible alibi that you might give and you realize you have used them all : ( exams , sickness , accidents , weird youth conferences that happen one time a year and u can’t miss it for the world , essays that your doctor wants u to do , your friend’s freaky accident (( when you can’t fake you had one , u use ur frds )) , your pet is sick and you have to keep him company , you are running a marathon for charity cases , you volunteered for the war in Iraq ).. well by now you get the idea..before u wake from ur nightmare…u realize u r already in one u feel ur parents’ eyes…staring…burning u , u feel the pressure…sweating all over…words won’t come out Now…they just won’t…u thought ur tongue will never betray u…think again…! and before you know it , u r all dressed up and standing at the door waiting for your parents so u can go on that hell ride…no one can see it…but u .. that dark cloud hovering over ur head…it’s gonna be hell…and YOU know it!

you step out of the car and it’s like you are in a whole other world where you can only c eyes staring at you , checking every inch of your body , whispers and comments and weird…WEIRD body languages ..you take a deep breath and tell yourself while you are entering the door : “it’s Ok ..focus ..get in ..smile..lie your butt off..and then get out “..but when u finish that sentence you feel like crap because you know its not gonna be that easy ! ..you draw a big smile on your face..you smile so big you pull a muscle !! and you step in..you try to look for an empty seat in the furthest corner possible but before you get there..a very old woman with barely 2 teeth hanging our of her mouth grabs u and pulls you so hard and kisses you right on the mouth and then hands you to the next one and then the next one and before you have a chance to understand what’s going on , you have every old woman’s saliva on your face..you feel so disgusted and start looking desperately for paper towels ..you finally find’em and you clean your face , but it’s like you set the alarm off and now u r under attack again by other women that want to kiss u ..and when you try to just say hello ..your mother comes behind you and says as loud as she can:” go on ..kiss her..she’s like your grandmother ! “..and by then..you just surrender..and u think : ” go on..suck the life out of me”..

after the kissing part is over , there’s usually a very Nosy relative who wants to ask you all these stupid Questions like : ( we will write this in Arabic-English so we can make it as real as we can )

- random distant relative : keef drastak \ drastik ?
- you : el 7amdila
- random distant relative : keef el jam3a ?
- you : el 7amdila … …
- random distant relative : aimta nawi \ nawyeh tet5araj \ tet5arji ??
- you : el 7amdila..asdi 3n 2reeb inshalla !!
- random distant relative : keef el 3alamat ?
- you : mnee7a ..el 7amdila
- random distant relative : keef el sabaya bl jam3a ? ” if u r a guy For Example…3eE “
- you : *in shock* ..el7amdila..besalmo ! …
- random distant relative : aimta bdna nfr7 feeki ya 3roos ? ” if u r a gurl over 15 years old for example…DeE“
- you : *in shock*…ana lesa bdros ..lesa s3′eere..* an attempt to smile*

and then they call for their child who’s almost always from your opposite sex ..and they introduce you Together while saying : ” i am sure you both will get along..*suspicious wink* ” and then u r up to at least Half an hour of questionable behavior and unnecessary questions which u finally dodge by claiming that u See someone in the room that you recognize and say : ” heeey you ! ” and then leave .

And you run as fast as u can to the door to take a breath..or maybe to plot an escape ..but u r followed by those tiny devils , small but effectively annoying..those 50 cm tall creatures who seem to have a thing for Pulling your clothes down with their dirty hands and nagging and nagging till u start searching for a fork u can stab in their eyes so they could leave you alone , and because you know that you can not hurt children you just close your eyes and start enjoying some thoughts of how u can inflict pain on them ..and you consider that your break and step back into wonder land after they announce dinner..and we have to say that the hospitality of our family members is just amazing..they make you sit down next to the hosts exactly and those hosts decide that you have to eat EVERYTHING there’s On the table , they take your plate and start putting food in it..and they just keep on putting more and more ignoring your words : ” thank you ..that’s enough ” , ” believe me i can’t eat all of that “…and by the time they are satisfied you have at least 3 plates in front of you and they simply say : “go on eat !” , you smile this time because you understand that they are trying to show you that they love you in their own weird way ..u take the spoon but your aunt “X” tries to make a surprise entrance and says : ” start with the meat “..you ( still smiling ) : ” i don’t eat meat “..the room goes deadly Quiet ..and everyone stares at u and then the host decides he can fix you ! and he pulls the biggest piece of meat and he places it in another plate and then says : “EAT !” ..you can not possibly understand why they want you to eat meat..you just don’t eat meat ..so you say : ” i am sorry , i really don’t eat meat “..and everybody blows : ” why don’t u eat meat ? that’s why u get sick a lot ! that’s why you are so pale ! the kids these days ..they are all about MCDONALD’s !! “..”EAT the meat already..EAT…EAT …EAAAAAAAT “..and under all that pressure u take a bite..and you close your eyes trying to chew it down , but it gets stuck in your throat ..and you start searching for any kind of liquid that could help you forget that taste in your mouth ..u drink anything you could find and you feel the victory after you have finished , you really didn’t think you were capable of eating that bite , you look down at your plate and suddenly see aunt “X” shredding your food into little pieces in her own fingers ( that she was licking a min. ago ) because apparently the knife isn’t that effective !! and she starts pushing food down your throat ..again with her fingers..and you try to say something but you can’t so by the first chance you get you run to the bathroom and throw up everything you have eaten in the last week ..you get out..tired…annoyed..dizzy..dirty , but u manage to put on one last smile ad head back to the room where instead of asking about how were u doing they say : ” u r sensitive !! ” but you say nothing , u look at your watch and estimate that there’s isn’t much time left before you leave..but now it’s time for dessert ! and don’t you dare say No..that’s just not polite !

so you take your plate which is usually “knafeh ” filled with ” qa6er ” but this time you are smarter than to eat anything , you just find a way to slip it into a kid’s plate ( they’ll eat anything ) ,or MAKE ur lil brother eat it by threatening to kill him or maybe throw it on the plant near you , and if you are lucky the old man who’s always sleeping through these family gatherings is sitting right next to you and u can easily put what you have in your plate into his plate without him noticing ..after you do that , you say : ” thanks ! that was just DELICIOUS really ” and you start poking your parents and giving them eye signals so you can go , but they intend to embarrass you by saying as loud as they can : ” you want to leave already ? why ? let’s stay a while longer ” , and that distant cousin of yours that you were introduced to earlier gets the shock of his\her life because he\she couldn’t understand why would u leave , after all he\she thought you were soul mates so u turn him\her down as hard as you can because u know if u try to go easy on them they will never get it , and after a while now..after your hair is starting to turn Grey and you have developed some wrinkles your parents say the magic words ” we have to go now , come and visit us SOON !!” .. u nod your head as if you seriously want them to and you fly to the car in happiness ( and if you are a girl , by now you have taken the high heels off and you scream in relief , because even if you are 172 cm tall , your mother still expects you to wear them for some anonymous reason ) but the ride back home seems to take forever .. now that everything is finished..and all the way home you hear lectures about how you poorly behaved , and how every other child that was there was perfect..everyone but you !..you get in a fight with them and you get very cranky , you wait till you are home and u get online to talk to the other part of your family ..”the normal kind “..to your fav cuz and discuss with him\her what has happened , and what he\she missed ( because they actually found an alibi ) you laugh a lot and then decide to make “relatives ” your next post on your conjoined blog

[ if you are a family member and u suspect we are talking about you..well be sure , there's not a lot of people with these descriptions ]

Your Sincere Sardonics :

3eE & DeE

Some Info ..

well ..i would just like to notify you people that “3eE” is currently Unavailable Due to personal reasons.Because this is a conjoined Blog , i am only responding to comments made on my posts … i am not responding to any of his posts and i am not approving any of them and that’s why u can not see them posted , so we’d really appreciate it if u wait and stop sending the ” why did u delete  my post ” thingy..because that didn’t happen , all your comments will be responded to , we are not afraid :S !! …and i really think some of u should take a Pill or sth ..you’re so tense !!..

~*DeE*~

Noor…Seriously???!!!

ok…DeE’s Topic was an inspiration for me to write about one other ERROR on our life…it’s a show…no not a show…a mistake…called ” NOOR ” … it’s a mix of crappy actors…some hot chicks, a very rude little girl, a lot of pregnancy situations and a very very very stupid dubbing try !!!

This show is like a poison…spreading through our community…i know people who watch the show in it’s time…then watch the replay … then if they have time they watch the late night replay (( well…if it existed )) !!! and as i’ve heard…this is not the only Turkish series…there is this other one called ” Sanawat el Daya3 ” … which i’ve been told is the lesser of two evils !!

I just wanna ask every and each one of u who watches this series…what’s so special about it that makes u wanna watch it ?! it’s Boring…it’s like a mexican series wannabe (( that does not mean i like mexican series…i despise them )) …wherever i go…i see ” NOOR ” … on TV…on the NET…on facebook !! i mean i get in the news feed : ” Dude or dudest became a fan of &*^&*^%-crap ” well…if u r a girl…i can somehow…hardly accept that…but if u r dude…it’s more like ” dude became a FAG not a FAN !!” (( thanx baha2…i stole this joke from u forgive me ?! hehe )) and still…there are groups for supporting it, fan pages or FAG pages again if i may … some sorts of fan clubs, and it’s the subject that everyone wants to talk about…like…in the uni…u r walking peacefully in ur department…when u hear those little voices from all over the place … going : ” noor…Noor…NOor…NOOr…NOOR…NOOOOOOR ” and u r now living in hell if u ask me…for god’s sake ppl…i think u can search for something better to watch…or at least to talk about !! even when i go to the barber…the tv is on…and there is ” Noor ” …z it recorded ? maybe…and to be honest…am really not sure if
Noor is a guy or a girl =S

Now let us observe…the glory of the characters…the amazing plot and the amazing values in the show…i asked a couple of fans i know about this…so i can give u the summary am about to give now :

1st the characters :

The Little Girl : am not sure what her name is … but she sure is Evil !! from what i’ve heard…and saw once or twice…she knows EVERYTHING ! she is like the sweetest thing ever … yeah right…u know u’ve always wanted a child that goes and say : ” MOhaaaaanaaaaaaaad…shoft mama o anwar bebooosooo ba3ad ” and Mohannad replies so proudly of this girl in front of him : ” 3aaaaaaadi … kel el ref2a beboso ba3aaaaaad ” … and she replies back with an evil grin on her face : ” laa22aa…zy ma enta o nooooor btboooooso ba3ad ” !! now i hope noor is a girl !!come on ppl…z that even Human ?! how could they ever made a child do this part!!btw this child existed in the show without even anyone knowing from where the hell she popped out…free country

Mohannad : who is actually better looking than the heroine of the show,,,which is noor…which is a girl ” yay i must say ” and his main job is to dash in every and single scene in the show…he’s like a pretty face nothing more…the director goes like : ” this scene sux…Bring Mohannad in … he’ll make them forget how horrible this show is !! ” and the weird part is…it actually works !! and yeah…so i’ve been told…he HATES children … and yet he helps every pregnant woman in the show and encourages her to keep her child…EVEN HIS SISTER who he embraced with wide open arms when he knew that his friend knocked her up !!…3aaaaaadiii….same as our traditions ppl

Noor : ahhhh…yeah…the one the show is named after…the real deal…the one and only…NOOR…give me a clap ppl for starters…she’s not that good of a face…she’s stupid…and she does nothing !she’s too kind to be true…u know … like how the disney princesses are ? Bla bla bla…whatever he/she does i can 4give him/her…

Due to lack of info on the characters side…this should be enough thanx Lina for the info

Now…the Audience…did u know that little girls that their ages range from 5 to 15 watch this show????and they bother cut stuff from the cartoons they display…well…here is the news…THEY DON’T WATCH THE DAMN CARTOON when they have NOOR … parents and others must not let their children watch these kinds of shows..it’s really sad when u hear two little girls at the age of 7 talking about how this girl from the show fell and she is not pregnant now…and how that guy made that girl pregnant…for god’s sake when i was seven i didn’t know what pregnant was !!actually it’s not sad…it’s somehow sick :S i blame mothers…if u want to watch it so badly…take ur little daughter to another room…anything…u don’t have to fill her mind with such crap…
also i was told that the show has displayed 50 episodes so far…and it’s actually 200 episodes long !! what are they trying to go against? ” The Bold and the Beautiful ” ??? we had it since ” Kasandra ” … i remember when the show used to air…no1 would be roaming the streets :S i hope this show does not turn out to be the same…

well ppl…from the info that i have…that’s all that i can talk about…believe me i’ll talk more if i had more info :S i hope to know ur thoughts about this…are u with or against me ? love to hear ur thoughts .

ur sincere Sardonic,
3eE

Reasons to Hate Mohammad Qweider…

Today ( THANK GOD ) ends the freakin season of star academy , and although i hate watching it , i know i’ll be watching it today ..coz i have to…i mean my whole fam would be watching it anyway , and if i don’t watch it every single person i am gonna meet for the next 2-3 weeks is gonna tell me his own version of what has happened..and i’d rather get the horrible ache in the Pit of my stomach Just once and get it over with ..

I mean the Arabic world…thats spans over two continents and with a combined population over 325 Million is going tonight to hit rock bottom when at least half of it is gonna be mesmerized in front of the TV Hoping their Fav contestant is going to win tonight ..and if that guy didn’t win..i am sure a couple of girls would commit suicide while thousands if not millions are going to cry themselves to sleep..

Being a Jordanian ofcourse ..i know that if ” Mohammad Qweider ” is going to win tonight this whole country is going to celebrate it as if they have rescued Palestine ..and it’s not necessarily because they love him..NO ! its because the Jordanian Dude Has won ..

let’s skip discussing how sickening it is to Vote for someone just upon his nationality , ignoring the fact that it’s a talent show ..and the fact that we are all Arabs here..and that Our grand fathers have died trying to Unite us years ago and all it took to destroy hundreds of years of blood shed is a show called ” star academy ” ad let’s start discussing the actual personalities we have there …

• there’s Nader ( and i think he’s from Tunisia )..who u can’t actually understand..i mean i speak Arabic , English and French , yet i don’t get a word that guy is saying ..his freaky combination of French ( mainly ) ,English and what he likes to call “Arabic” makes it Impossible to get him ..though our lovely girls think it’s CUTE not to get a word he’s saying..and Oh yea they keep saying this sentence ” love goes beyond words “..i mean OH GOD I WANNA THROW UP… and that said , from the few sentences i heard him saying he’s as shallow as it gets..he and his stupid love stories and very complicated relationship ( not frds- not lovers ) with ” mima al sagheera ” it’s so ridiculous i feel stupid just criticizing it ..i mean the girl is like 25 years old and she likes to be called ” Mima AL sagheera !! ” i mean after the age of 5 i wanted to kill anybody who called me Little Dee or sth like that..but i guess since she’s got the brain of a pea ( yes i know Peas have no brain..that’s exactly my point ) maybe its Ok to call her mima the little..

• there’s also Saad who’s the best of the bunch if u ask me..i know he has this Pink life going on..”oh i am a saint …we are all going to heaven ” kinda life..and he also had this whole ( not frds not lovers ) relationship with Dia …which seems to be some kind of a trend..like they go there determined to have such a meaningless period in the program so other silly ppl would send msgs Asking them :”PLZ sort it out..i CAN NOT SLEEP AT NIGHT THINKING WHAT’S GOING ON WITH U BOTH “..( i saw that msg and i spent the next hour throwing up in the bathroom ) and of course ..the usual answer ( he looks at her with puppy eyes ) and then says : ” we are only frds..i love her but just as a frd ” and the girl hugs him tight and says ” he’s like my brother “…but Saad at least doesn’t speak as often as the others so he makes less damage..

• and NOW , the reason i wanted to write this post..Mohammad Qweirder…the guy is a freakin nut case … ( and even if i only watch the show because of my Sis and Evva ” the girl that works for us ” since they spend they day watching’em i can still say honestly i have heard him saying things he should be SHOT for more than 50 times ) ..to count a few :

1. the guy calls himself “Qweider man ” for god’s sake..and here’s the spark : HE THINKS IT’S COOL
2. he sang a song ..sth about the ” wali “..and he believed himself to be one..
3. he wears T-shirts with ” Qweider man and wali ” written on them ..sent by other silly entities ( they are not humans for all i care since snowball my cat has got a better IQ )..and he barely ever changes his clothes.
4. he wears a thousand kinda Hats n Caps over each other INSIDE the house where there’s no need to do so..and when ppl ask him why ..he gets this dull kinda shock on his egg for a face and he says : “STYLE Of Course”…i mean OF COURSE since he’s the New version of Calvin Klein he should know all about it !! and we are the stupid ignorants who know nothing about it..
5. He curses god ..OVER AND OVER AGAIN…and then he says : “ASt3′fer Allah !!”…yes mohammad , you are going to heaven..i mean U APOLOGIZED!!
6. he wears glasses inside the house and specially at night ..why ? OF COURSE style…Mohammad..sweety there’s Only ONE person who can pull that of …it’s “Jack Nicholson”..and guess what ? U R NOT HIM.
7. he calls us Jordanians : ” wo7oosh el taswee6 ” = monsters of voting ?..is that supposed to be encouraging ?
8. he’d be sitting there..dull and stupid doing nothing , so he goes to the nearest camera and HE ACTUALLY starts talking about random , silly , self centered subjects and when one of his mates asks him to stop talking to the ppl through cameras coz it’s just ain’t normal he starts screaming : I AM NOT !!
9. he’d be siting there..also dull and stupid..really doing nothing…and he’d jump suddenly and scream randomly a name of a country , mostly Jordan ..like : ” JORDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN” when there’s no actual reason to do it…and NO u would be wrong to think that he’s advertising fro himself and he just wants u to vote for him ( Or he’ll kill himself –> his actual words ) No of course not..he’s just a patriot who’s deeply in love with his country and when he’s doing nothing he can ONLy think of it..I mean plz…i love my country and i know i am a patriot when i need to be ..but screaming my country’s name every now and then is not a proof of how much i love my country ..if anything , it makes ppl think i should go to a clinic of some sort.
10. he calls his grlfrd.. basically thrashes her and screams at her and keeps on saying ” don’t lie and Eglbi wejhek “..( talk about low self-esteem ) ..then he closes the phone and says i am In love with ” Lulu ” ..yes he calls the girl he loves Lulu and No its not the girlfriend he just talked with..its someone else.
11. he has dated super models who Begged him to stay with them..but he broke their hearts because a hot guy like him ..who’s got the face of Gerard butler and the brains Of Einstein..wouldn’t care for such ridiculous shallow ppl ( ppl actually believe that )
12. they say they love him because he’s Honest , he’s straight forward..and Hey i love honest , straight forward Ppl ..but there’s a HUGE difference between being honest and being Blunt and abrupt and unconcerned with any feelings that human in front of u has ..since When is it OK to tell a girl that she’s stupid , that she is rude and vulgar..to tell a guy that he sucks and that he is stupid and naive and double-faced !…what happened to care ! to kindness ..to common courtesy ! and why are ppl encouraging habits that are against our traditions and religions whether we’re Muslims or Christians

i could keep on talking..On and On..about why do i hate his guts..why do i hate the show and everything it represents..but i am tired..and bored..and i have already wasted about an hour of my life talking about it and it’s more than i can afford to waste !

i am just glad its gonna be over tonight..i don care who’s going to win..i am just hoping for tom to come where the channel of star academy would close and we can live peacefully again.

Your sincere Sardonic ,

Dee

How Do u Express it ???

ANGER that is … I’ve been alive on the face of this earth for 22 solid years…being a sarcastic person allowed me to experience a lot of forms of Anger…that being said…How do u express Your anger??!!

Here comes my confession…as for me…am the Kind of people that for things that really upset me or make me angry i keep them Inside…i know it’s not healthy…but that’s what i am…it builds and it builds till it reaches it’s limit…and it Explodes for the most stupid reasons !! and what makes it worse…i explode in the faces of the dearest people to my heart…and am so happy they still want to talk to me lol ! they are Saints .

Some People just take Revenge Silently…are u that kind of person ? u know…i did something to u…u go to a dark side of ur castle and u go like * hehehe…someday…somehow…u r gonna regret it !! * then comes the “evil laugh * and the sentence ” Revenge is a dish better served cold ” comes as a scrolling marquee on ur forehead ! … well…that was a bit dramatic i know…but at least u got the meaning

Other Kind of people those that i always prefer,the Kind that says it right to my face…u know? The Honest Type !Like if u don’t tell me…how on hell am i supposed to know ?! he comes and hit me on the face ” Not literally ppl !! ” and goes like ” PLEASE STOP !! ” and i will gladly stop ! how easy was that ?! huh ?

And there comes the kind when u wish u were sitting with Barney (( yeah Pink and scary )) instead of being in the face of that angry fellow…the DESTROYING type…the reason maybe nothing…or maybe something…but the result in both ways is the same…this is when u start practicing ur manouviring skills…where u get stuff thrown at u from all sizes and shapes and also from all directions…and if u survived that…u may not survive the physical damage…where u might get a punch or two…a kick maybe? and a slap if u r lucky! z it worth it ? no body knows !!

ahhhh yes…the Ignoring type…u know…when u do something…and they just want to ignore u ?! like ” Hi ” … no answer…and when he wants something he goes telling some random guy : ” plz tell ( enter name here ) to pass me the gun ” .. and random guy goes like : ” HUH ?! ” … not our point at the moment…but yeah…that goes on for a while till the guy forgets what he was mad about…and things are resolved magically … VOILA!! well…excuse me ppl…but this is a plain stupid way to express ur anger !

So !! after all that…where do u think u fall ? Maybe u have ur own way Of Expressing ur anger…I’d love to hear it ! if not ..as stated…what type Of Anger R U ?

Your Sincere Sardonic,

3eE .

Enjoy Life .. He says !

So i have got this professor who’s a combination between ” dexter “ and a 70s Hippie and everytime i go to his lecture he does this weird thing where he goes to the window and stares at the big block of cement they call a building that kind of demolishes every purpose of that window since it blocks the view and the air..and he starts mumbling things about how we should live life to the max and experience it …REALLY experience it..and how Uni is not all about study and marks and the real education is what happens in between..and i swear for a minute there i start believing in what he says..and i get flashes of the “Dead Poets society ” and the WHole ” Carpe Diem “ thingy ..and i get all excited and i spend the rest of the lecture time thinking about how i should change and do stuff..i am young , healthy , strong and smart ..i got what it takes to make anything happen and for some reason i start hearing ” i believe i can fly ” in the back of my head and by the time the lecture is over i am Determined to break the habit and go crazy ..

That ofcourse lasts for the next 10 mins , till my 2nd lecture begins and My other Professor comes barging in ..screaming from the top of his lungs about how we should be married to architecture ( my major ) ..live , breathe and eat architecture …do nothing and have no lives as long as we have a project to work on …” you do not need to sleep , you do NOT need to BE ..if it’ll effect ur work ” ..then he starts terrorizing us with these stories about students who failed because they didn’t have what it takes and then he starts coming to each and every one of us like the godfather Gone wild and starts asking us with this horror movie kinda voice : DO U HAVE WHAT IT TAKES ? …and the next thing u know …u r in a Fetus position thinking of if you’ll make it and if it is the right major for u ..and maybe you should change your major..and if u do will that devastate your parents ?!…by the time that hour of torture is over we get out looking like zombies…with this look of terror in our eyes ..” i’m gonna get back home and work ” ..” i’m gonna make it , i just have to work harder “..

and ofcourse all that terror vanishes the moment u step into the next lecture , where the professor is a freakin nut case who’s dedicated to make us feel clinically depressed , his very first lecture started by : ” I HATE WINTER , It’s Not White and puffy , ITS DARK AND MISERABLE..PPL DIE IN WINTER !! .. a man goes to buy breakfast for his family , the next thing they know , he’s in a coffin because his car slided because of rain ..they never ate breakfast and now they have no house to live in..i hope u know now SNOW isn’t that FUN anymore !!..architecture !! who the hell told u to study architecture ? i’d rather kill my son than see him go in that direction..it’s going nowhere..we got architects doing nothing , they can’t even eat…if i were u …i’d RUN…and i am only telling u this for ur own good but ur comin days are Dark and if u knew what’s gonna happen you would be crying ur eyes out now !…today we’ll talk about structure !! “

at the end of the day..u come home barely breathing…and all u wanna do is curl up under the bed and DIE , u do not feel like talking , working , having fun ..u don’t even have the power to feel ..that is until your parents come in and start giving u this lecture about how they used to study on the candle’s light and how they begged to go to school , how u’ve got more than they have ever had and still u r always frowny and depressed , and maybe if u took vitamin B12 ( now they think everybody’s got it , a deficiency of B12 ) and started practicing sports it will all Be ALRIGHT.

..the funny part is that before u go to sleep u think of each and every point u heard today , they all make sense somehow..but how do they fit and and what will u do..it’s sth u will probably die and get resurrected before u know..

So u tell me what should i do ? have fun ? go wild ? work my butt off ? change my major ?
students in my beloved country have no idea what to do about anything ..
when Oscar wilde said his very famous words : ” we are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars ” .. i bet he wasn’t talking about Jordan ..here we have no stars , all we can do is take a deep breath and try so hard not to smell the Crap in the gutter !

ur sincere Sardonic ,
DeE ..

Here We Are !!!

Hey Ppl … this blog was decided to be made due to lack of sleep , boredom , not so much free time and of course coz we r somehow Sardonic…Yes .. We… the two of us will be writing in this blog…a joint blog u can say we are ” DeE ” and ” 3eE ” … hope u can stay and read us ranting …well…mainly ranting…but sure we’ll write about more stuff…we just need some support

DeE & 3eE